One year ago this morning, Daniel, Tunas, Nata, Tomato and I woke up in the United States. We had moved back here. We took our first walk together with the pups here. The next day the pups met their first snowfall.
It has been one of my great challenges raising these pups. and one of my great joys raising these pups. Raising dogs triggers fear in me, sadness, shame, joy, excitement, pride. They have this rich deep energy, and I was scared that by bringing them here, DOMESTICATING them, turning them into American dogs they would lose their “vibrancy,” their “dogness”–
and then the dominance fights started. And then I learned about establishing myself as their leader, so that they do not need to deal with it themselves. I am learning to understand the times when their energy is heightened, their excitement accellerating, and how to quell and calm it. So that they can be safe. So that we can be safe. And these lessons provide daily gifts. Gifts for my pride and confidence. As well as my security. As well as for the doggies. We can now walk them, anywhere, everywhere. We do not need to be afraid of ‘what might happen.’ So we walk about two hours each day so we all can use our bodies and breathe. It is amazing to me. It is challenging to me.
As is the passage of time. When I imagine returning to Mexico, I feel fearful. I read the American/UK news and I read about a growing situation of danger in Mexico. I read of drug cartels and beheadings and random shootings and of a potential collapse of the Mexican government. I wonder if this is mostly brainwashing or propaganda, or if the situation has truly increased in extremity since we were there.
There were certainly times when I felt fearful and thought I was taking risks of sorts, often related to being an American woman; and also I generally experienced a sense of safety (excluding nights with alacranes) in Mexico, not particularly less safe than I feel in the United States.
Personal security is a mysterious thing to me. I remind myself that things happen, I remind myself that life happens.
speaking of life happening, I foresee a move to New Mexico (as opposed to Old Mexico) this spring. What can happen in a year’s time!!??!!?! more information to come…
